A couple months back, the good folks over at Techcrunch launched Elevator Pitches, an online video reposity of startup CEOs explaining their particular brainchild in 60 seconds.  We are uncertain what benefits a startup gains by virtue of appearing on the site beyond some tepid buzz, as Techcrunch is noticeably silent regarding the potential spoils for the super-contenders loved by the Techcrunch masses.  But we love popularity contests even if our egos alone realize a fruitful bounty.

Strangely enough, Elevator Pitches exhibits some particularly annoying glitches and bugs; shouldn't a mega-blog heavily focused on the web be able to publish, error-free, what appears to be nothing more than a gussied-up blog platform?  When coupled with the fact that Techcrunch has paid virtually no attention and dedicated no e-real estate to any of the listed startups, a dilligent fellow can reasonably conclude that there's no pot of gold at the end of this rainbow.

But we're not complaining, as free press is free press.  So to the Techcrunch gang, please accept out most gracious of thanks!  You are, indeed, a valuable and dependable friend.  

And without further pause, we present to our adoring masses "67 Seconds with Brand Jury".  We ask that you devote a tiny slice of your browsing time to our first commercial advertisement, and beg that if you are inclined to vote against rather than for us, please please please tell us why.  Of the negative votes we have received, very few are attached to commentary explaining why.  Telling us only that we suck accomplishes nothing beyond assuaging whatever dark mood prompted the vitriol; telling us why we suck gives us some idea how we can suck less in the future.

Popularity: 32% [?]

Why?  Because the wall is never part of a conversation in which it needs to repsond.  The same can be said of advertisers, and no matter how hard we scream valid complaints their way, they're not part of any conversation with plebian consumers like you and me…why should they respond?

Proof of this point is found in two modern examples of ignored consumer complaints:  www.DearAdobe.com, and the Spore debable over at Amazon.

For any amateur Adobe product user, www.DearAdobe.com likely provides the most amusing 2 hours currently availble on the web.  The idea is a simple one:  tell Adobe whatever you want about their products.  Examples of consumer feedback include:

• Why does the Acrobat Reader take two minutes to launch, and require updates twice a month, just to display PDF pages?
• Please create an installer that puts your software on my computer in less time than it takes to install an operating system.
• Could you make Adobe Reader start up slower? I'd like to have enough time to go get a sandwich before I read a one page document.
• Why is Adobe Reader using more RAM than Supreme Commander?

As funny (and accurate) as these complaints are, they provide nothing beyond entertainment if Adobe doesn't read and/or responding to any of them.

Amazon's problems with Spore are even more illustrative of how unimportant consumer concerns are.  While Spore is apparantly a very fun game, the consumer revolt against Electronic Arts, the game's publisher, has left the game with a very low Amazon review rating.  The complaints surround EA's draconian DRM policy with the game, which apparantly allows a valid license to be installed no more than 3 times.

EA may buckle if enough people opt not to purchase the game, but with the game currently holding the #4 position at Amazon, will any of the negative reviews make a difference?  And will they compete against the natural bias that exists by virtue of Amazon's business dealings with EA?  It remains to be seen if ACME Corp's loyalties to XYZ Corp can withstand consumer revolt, but my money is on Amazon offering relief to product suppliers over angry and bitter consumers, especially when the angry and bitter consumers make up a tiny percentage of their customer base.

Brand Jury is different in that we compel advertisers to be part of the conversation.  And the conversation is not limited only to the merits of an ad; a great advertisement can be peddling a sub-par product, and we allow consumers to highlight how the ad is over-selling by informing others about the product's shortcomings. 

Popularity: 39% [?]